Sunday, April 29, 2012

I didn't fall, I threw myself off.

Note: This was a short story, written for an extra credit English assignment. I had to find inspiration on PostSecret.com. The picture I chose was of a ladder, with the caption "I didn't fall, I threw myself off"



I fell slowly, drifting down from side to side like a piece of paper blowing off a desk. I distinctly remember passing both stories of the building, looking in the windows at the neat rows of beakers and bookshelves. Why was this taking so long? I wanted to hit the ground so badly, and I felt a sudden pang of regret that I wouldn’t be able to see Alex’s face once he realized what had happened. I knew I wouldn’t die. I don’t know how I knew; I just had this feeling.
***
            It started in 7th period. The teacher was out of the room, sending the attendance down to the office. She used to send down one of the students, but after she caught Alex heading to the bathroom for a smoke for the third straight time, she stopped letting us leave the classroom at all. I resented him for this. I resented him for a lot of things. I used to love to take the attendance down and give a high-five to my older brother, who worked in the main office at our middle school.
            What the teacher didn’t realize is that her momentary absence was enough to provoke complete anarchy. Alex took full advantage of this every day, and never missed a chance to make me the victim. This day was particularly bad. It was the last class of the last day of school, and everyone was restless in their seats. The door had barely shut behind our teacher when he jumped up and started drawing obscene things on the chalkboard. A couple guys belted out in laughter, and the girls issued some nervous giggles. As soon as he was done with a particularly large phallus, he signed my name under it, even using the little lowercase letters I’ve always written in. You asshole, I breathed under my breath. I jumped up and grabbed the chalk from him and started furiously erasing my name. Suddenly, the door swung open, and Ms. Wigle stopped dead in her tracks as she saw the board. I managed to get rid of my name, but she saw me with the chalk, and that was enough.
“Evan! You should know better. Sit. We’ll talk after class,” She reprimanded. For a moment I thought I felt the offending chalk drawings almost tremble at the tone of her voice. None of my classmates corrected her, lest they become the recipient of her anger. I was speechless, and turned to incriminate Alex, but he was miraculously in his seat, pretending to be asleep. I felt the heat on my face the entire class. When the bell finally rang, she curled one icy finger in my direction, beckoning me to her desk.
“Ms. Wigle, I—” I began.
“Evan, hush. Alex, you stay too.”
“Aw, what did I do?” he protested unconvincingly.
            “Here’s what I saw. You,” she said, pointing at me, “were drawing things on that board that would’ve killed my grandmother twice over. And you,” she said at Alex, “are involved, because you’re always involved. Detention, now. Roof. End of discussion.” End of discussion—I knew it was over then. Ms. Wigle was not a diplomatic ruler. There was no room for debate.
***
“Hey, Brownstain, you missed one,” Alex jabbed me in the back with the pointy sticks we used to pick up trash. It was a play on my last name, Braunstein.  He had given me that nickname in 6th grade, after he tricked me into sitting on an open chocolate pudding, after which everyone thought I had soiled myself. Of course, the name stuck. His names always stick.
She had given us the worst job. People were hardly ever caught on the roof, but the litter and cigarette butts seemed to multiply each night. Some people thought the teachers put it there, just to give us something to do during detention. I glanced at Ms. Wigle out of the corner of my eye and decided she would be evil enough to do such a thing. She was absolutely the most horrid teacher the school had ever hired, everyone thought so.
The late June heat beat upon us as we labored silently, neither of us daring to be caught checking our watches. Alex found a spare moment every time the teacher looked away to prod me in the head with the stick. Telling him off wouldn’t do anything but alert the probing eyes of Sergeant Wigle, so I just stormed away from him towards the edge of the roof where there were some old Pepsi cans. That’s when he started throwing gravel. Little bits, one by one they hit their mark.
I don’t know if I was delirious from the heat or what, but something in my head clicked, and I decided something huge: Alex Miller had finally crossed the line. My mind was full of every time he’d ever tried to ruin my life. I saw the arrogance on his face as he chatted up my dream girl, Annie Jones, just to spite me. I felt the milk drip down my face after it was poured over my head. I heard my favorite CDs crack, and I smelled the rotten eggs he’d hidden in my desk and my backpack. I dropped my litter stick and turned to face him, preparing to fight or scream or something. I envisioned I was turning into some kind of Hulk, all veiny and muscular, ripping off my shirt and tearing him limb from limb, but Alex just chuckled. Our teacher had her back to us, updating her grade book, and she was too far away to hear us if we talked quietly. I was fuming, and started turning red.
“What’s the matter, Shit-Shorts? Feeling constipated? In fact, you look like you’re about ready to drop one right here,” He taunted. I knew what he was doing—he was trying to get me to start a scene, one that he could blame on me. I still hadn’t decided how to take him down, so I said nothing. He grew impatient with me, because I was usually such an easy mark. But as he sauntered over to me, I had a revelation. A sense of calm washed over me as I understood what I had to do. It was flawless, the beauty of my plan. There he was, two feet in front of me, arm cocked for a swift hit to the ribs, when he froze. I was wearing a big goofy smile on my face, which is something most bullies are unaccustomed to seeing on their prey. While he was still trying to figure out what I was grinning at, I gave him a big wink, and shouted, “Alex! Stop! What’re you doing?” It was loud enough for Ms. Wigle to hear, and she swung around just in time to see me, falling out of sight off the edge, and Alex, who still had his fist in the air.
***
My hospital room was more decked out than I could’ve hoped. They got the whole school to sign one of those oversized cards, and I couldn’t see the window for all the flowers and teddy bears. My doting mother sat by my side, dotting her eyes with a hankie as she cooed over her precious little darling, and my father stood beaming on the other side, boasting to every nurse that passed about how tough his son was. I lost track of how many people came to visit me, partly because of the painkillers. They told me about how Ms. Wigle tackled Alex on the roof (now that I would like to have seen), how Alex is going to go to juvie for aggravated assault, and how Ms. Wigle is under suspension for letting us up on the roof in the first place. I know it’s wrong to lie, but I decided it wasn’t lying if I just failed to correct them, just like my classmates always let me get punished instead of Alex. I spent 3 days in that hospital, and I got a total of 87 signatures on my two full-leg casts. Annie Jones signed hers with a heart.

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