Internet Health Journal
Entry One
By Dr. Livingston (I presume?)
Good evening, colleagues. A matter was recently brought to my attention regarding a new syndrome in young people causing widespread panic. It's called HHLCD, or more commonly, Haters with Huge Lung Capacity Disorder. See here the issue in a most dangerous example, recently seen on an Internet discussion about Tila Tequila*:
"no u probly look and act like u live on a street corner and u dont know her personally so u have no right to say stuff like that use the saying dont judge a book by its cover judge it by whats in the inside and still that saying is wrong cuz whats on the inside is her personality and thats not your life to live its her and maybe you shuld have more respect for othersand if you are going to be rude like that behind her back then i guess you have enough courage to say it to her face and let her rough you up alittle"
As you can see, the poor girl in question (<3~malibuchikXX) clearly lost consciousness before finishing her rambling opinion.
Fortunately for today's youth, I have spent many hours in my study and my basement laboratory and have successfully procured a solution! My prescription is as follows:
Three hours a week exposure to respectful society (museums, libraries, national parks, etc)
and about 13 commas and periods per day
(if they don't like swallowing punctuation, try mashing them up in applesauce).
*TILA TEQUELA!?
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